Sunday, July 4, 2010

Is it okay if I rant?

Last week I was assigned to follow a Physician Assistant for a day since the MD was out of the office. I have nothing against PAs. But this one was really starting to rub me the wrong way (figuratively speaking). 

PA: Medical Student, go assess these patients.
Medical Student: Okay.

Medical Student: Patient number one has a cough that comes in paroxysms with post-tussive emesis. He has had the cough for 6 weeks. I think we should cover for pertussis.
PA: Um, no. It's just viral.
Medical Student: (what the @#%$@!!)

Medical Student: Patient number two is a well child check. Everything was fine but there is a 2/6 systolic murmur at the apex. I think it should probably be checked out.
PA: (listens at the 2nd and 4th ICS) Nope. No murmur.
Patient's Mom: I think he's right, we have been told he has a murmur and that he should have a "heart ultrasound."
PA: (listens at the apex) I found a murmur here.
Medical Student: (glares at back of PAs head)

Medical Student: Patient number three has perfect circular patch of hair loss with a boggy mass on his scalp. It's classic for a fungal infection. I think we should treat him with an oral anti-fungal.
PA: Nope. This is a lipoma or maybe a sebaceous cyst.
Medical Student: I really don't think...
PA: We need to cut it out.
Medical Student: Should we try an anti-fungal first?
PA: Nope. We need to cut it out. (makes an incision on patient's head) Weird, there is nothing in here. Oh well, stitch this up.

What a day.